I stood at the kitchen sink, scrubbing a soapy spoon that had some substance on it which seemed it could have been used to glue a spacecraft together. As I scrubbed, my mom stood behind me at the stove, browning beef for tacos that night. The conversation between her, my dad, and I led to her reading aloud a post from a blog she frequently reads. In the post, the author, an American mother living in Thailand, described her daily joys and hardships. She talked about the mundane and the adventure, the times for weeping and the times of rejoicing. She concluded all of it with a list of what she had. It wasn’t all good, and it wasn’t only ‘important’ things. It was everything she had in that moment. I wanted to do it for myself. I think in this past season of planning, I lost track of why I was planning. I love thinking about the future and dreaming and making a gameplan. I truly enjoy it. But in doing so, I forgot that the reason I was doing all of it. This is supposed to be a ‘year of intentionality’ where I prioritize good things and live in good relationship. So here I go. This is me hitting the reset button.
THINGS I HAVE in Feb. 25th, 2017
A cup of coffee (often two) everyday
Multiple ways of listening to and discovering new music
I have two best friends who like to make music with me.
Access to all information. From the huge library in my house to the WiFi access, I can learn anything I want to.
A lot of younger sisters who look up to me.
Parents who love to love and keep trying no matter what.
A younger brother who is growing up and into a friend.
An outlet for worship and a band that truly loves eachother and worshipping.
People who pour into me so I can pour out.
Connections to amazing people who can share talents and ideas with me.
Pain in my muscles and joints.
Fatigue and brain fog that makes me feel inadequate at times.
Frustration that I can’t operate according to my age.
A family that supports travel.
Plans to go to Australia and Cambodia.
Friends who I miss dearly. Some who live far away and some who I’ve lost touch with.
A boy who loves me and is pursuing me gracefully, despite mistakes we’ve made.
A friend who loves me and lets me vent and laugh and go on adventures with her.
A solid plan to raise awareness for human trafficking, a subject dear to my heart.
Sadness that sometimes takes over my body but I refuse to let be a part of me.
Parents who both work and responsibility of the younger kids.
A love for newness and trying out what I don’t know.
A music teacher who is invested in my friend’s and my music.
Pages upon unorganized pages of art in my room.
A school curriculum that I’m nearly finished with.
A powerful example of real gospel in a camp that I work at in the summer.
An ability to create and have ideas.
A mattress on the floor.
Excitement for tomorrow and the next day and the next day.
A curiosity for neurology and an ability to learn about it.
A full house that’s always loud and chaotic.
A skill which I can use to support me and others in my future.
Tulips on a windowsill and a comic on my nightstand.
A book about a friend in the works.
A closet full of plaid and sweaters.
A driver’s permit and soon a license.
A coffee shop a few miles away where I’ve had many tearful, joyful, and exciting conversations.
I have many things. Most of which I am grateful for. Some of which, not so much. But this is my life and this all will change. I am happy and in love with it all.